All I want from you is to be sorry
To realize that you added so much pain to my story
To understand your actions were unforgivable
Completely inconceivable
That maybe I was good for you
That my feelings really were true
Two years of my life and everything I could give
You really were my reason to live
All I want from you is to realize
That all you need to do is apologize
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Burning
You're my addiction
I lost my religion
There was only room enough to believe in you
You and your fake passion
Caused so much friction
That it started this fire
The kind only made by a liar
It courses through my veins
Not much left of me remains
Cause it now won't stop burning
Will never stop hurting
So I'll forever go insane
While dealing with this addictive pain
I lost my religion
There was only room enough to believe in you
You and your fake passion
Caused so much friction
That it started this fire
The kind only made by a liar
It courses through my veins
Not much left of me remains
Cause it now won't stop burning
Will never stop hurting
So I'll forever go insane
While dealing with this addictive pain
Saturday, March 26, 2011
Contradict
I always laugh when I cry
I'm always truthful when I lie
I could tell you my secrets within
But I wouldn't know where to begin
I have low highs
And high lows
I can't tell my goodbyes from hellos
I always say yes when I mean no
I always stay when I should go
My worst is my best
I stay awake when I should rest
I think in my sleep
I'm so shallow that I'm deep
I can't write but I can rhyme
I contradict myself all the time
I always stop when I should try
I always laugh when I should cry
I'm always truthful when I lie
I could tell you my secrets within
But I wouldn't know where to begin
I have low highs
And high lows
I can't tell my goodbyes from hellos
I always say yes when I mean no
I always stay when I should go
My worst is my best
I stay awake when I should rest
I think in my sleep
I'm so shallow that I'm deep
I can't write but I can rhyme
I contradict myself all the time
I always stop when I should try
I always laugh when I should cry
Damaged
I remember it all
What it felt like to be hurt
To be made to crawl
But sometimes I miss it
How I tricked myself to fit
To think we were meant to be
Our tragedy was all I could see
So I can't deny I'm still damaged
What happened did happen
All the things I did feel
All these things to me were real
But how can I miss you
When you refused to be true
When you forced me down
Pushed me around
But sometimes I miss the moments
When it was just you and I
When missing you didn't make me cry
What it felt like to be hurt
To be made to crawl
But sometimes I miss it
How I tricked myself to fit
To think we were meant to be
Our tragedy was all I could see
So I can't deny I'm still damaged
What happened did happen
All the things I did feel
All these things to me were real
But how can I miss you
When you refused to be true
When you forced me down
Pushed me around
But sometimes I miss the moments
When it was just you and I
When missing you didn't make me cry
Friday, March 25, 2011
Addiction
Addiction:
-Noun
The state of being enslaved to a habit or practice or something that is psychologically or physically habit-forming to such an extent that its cessation causes severe trauma.
-Noun
The state of being enslaved to a habit or practice or something that is psychologically or physically habit-forming to such an extent that its cessation causes severe trauma.
Smile
Put a smile on my face
While those memories erase
I forget about the pain
There's only happiness to gain
You saved me while I was sinking
Made me question what I was thinking
You put a smile on my face
You are my happy place
Where I feel secure
Where the pain can begin to blur
Put a smile on my face
You're my saving grace
:)
While those memories erase
I forget about the pain
There's only happiness to gain
You saved me while I was sinking
Made me question what I was thinking
You put a smile on my face
You are my happy place
Where I feel secure
Where the pain can begin to blur
Put a smile on my face
You're my saving grace
:)
Demons
Inside of my soul
All the pain has caused a hole
There my demons reside
Away from the world they're forced to hide
But they scratch and they scrape
They contain all my hate
All the questions I can't share
All the questions I can't seem to bare
But what's inside of that hole
My love has managed to control
There are people who keep me strong
Their love is my song
I sing it when my strength is in doubt
I'll scream it and I'll shout
So these demons I'll one day face
From my soul I'll one day chase
They will run far away
But this love will forever stay
So that's what I'll hold
To keep my demons from making me cold
To keep my demons hole
From consuming my entire soul
All the pain has caused a hole
There my demons reside
Away from the world they're forced to hide
But they scratch and they scrape
They contain all my hate
All the questions I can't share
All the questions I can't seem to bare
But what's inside of that hole
My love has managed to control
There are people who keep me strong
Their love is my song
I sing it when my strength is in doubt
I'll scream it and I'll shout
So these demons I'll one day face
From my soul I'll one day chase
They will run far away
But this love will forever stay
So that's what I'll hold
To keep my demons from making me cold
To keep my demons hole
From consuming my entire soul
Thursday, March 24, 2011
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
Life
Life has a funny way of giving you what you need... you just have to be able to open your eyes enough to see it.
Choice
I'm trying to take as much positivity out of the world as possible. To learn from the negative and to use it to help me grow. Life tends to throw strange and unexpected curve balls at us all the time. I have the problem that I always look at these as horrible things, unfair things. I find myself asking constantly "Why me? Why do I have to keep putting up with this?" But what I'm coming to realize is that I don't have to put up with it. What I CAN do is take as much out of each situation as I can and then move on. Everything that happens in life is a growing opportunity. I can CHOOSE to be upset about life's little twists and turns or I can CHOOSE to look at it from a different perspective, a perspective that everything that happens just leads us to our next step in life, to our next adventure. Everything that has happened with me was meant to happen. Where I am now is where I'm meant to be.
Life is too short to not open your eyes and see the beauty in the world.
This is no way means that I will not have my bad days, the days when I feel like life isn't worth it, that these struggles are too much, but I think that from now on I will remember that there ARE good days, there IS always something to smile about. That I have so much in life, especailly the people who love me.
I feel very blessed these days when I think of the people who have been there for me this past year. They have seen me through the worst year of my life. A year full of me wanting to give up, to say enough is enough. But each time that has happened they have been there to remind me of the good things. They have been there to talk, to listen, to hold me when I cry, or to just be with me when I couldn't bare being alone. These people mean the world to me. These people I'd do anything for. They have seen me in my darkest moments and have not given up on me. For that I can't thank them enough. They will forever be in my heart.
I love you guys so much.
Life is too short to not open your eyes and see the beauty in the world.
This is no way means that I will not have my bad days, the days when I feel like life isn't worth it, that these struggles are too much, but I think that from now on I will remember that there ARE good days, there IS always something to smile about. That I have so much in life, especailly the people who love me.
I feel very blessed these days when I think of the people who have been there for me this past year. They have seen me through the worst year of my life. A year full of me wanting to give up, to say enough is enough. But each time that has happened they have been there to remind me of the good things. They have been there to talk, to listen, to hold me when I cry, or to just be with me when I couldn't bare being alone. These people mean the world to me. These people I'd do anything for. They have seen me in my darkest moments and have not given up on me. For that I can't thank them enough. They will forever be in my heart.
I love you guys so much.
Oldies that I didn't complete
In your absence
I lost my innocence
I lost the part of me that was me
I lost the part of me that could see
Between wrong and right
Truth and lies
Hellos and goodbyes
This isn't where I'm meant to be
These aren't the things I was supposed to see
These things I want to forget
I need to stop living in regret
This is where I am
This is where I ended up
My mind is blurred
Can't take in your words
Can't believe what I've heard
Everything is changing
Your life is rearranging
But I'm being left behind
Doubt doesn't cross your mind
Because that's where I'm meant to be
Not someone who's supposed to see
But I was there when you were broken
To hear every word spoken
To hold you while you were sad
To be used when you were mad
But now I have to stay here
You've made your views on that very clear
I'm lost in your eyes
Just let me see you smile
Keep it in my memory forever
Remember when times get bad
In moments that I'm sad
She'll think you're smooth
But I know your every move
You'll sing a song
It'll catch her heart
I know that part
You'll use your talent
She won't see you're unbalanced
You'll be sweet, you'll be kind
She doesn't know what she'll find
I know that part
Because I wasn't that smart
I kept going
Kept throwing myself in
Shouldn't have let myself begin
I lost my innocence
I lost the part of me that was me
I lost the part of me that could see
Between wrong and right
Truth and lies
Hellos and goodbyes
This isn't where I'm meant to be
These aren't the things I was supposed to see
These things I want to forget
I need to stop living in regret
This is where I am
This is where I ended up
My mind is blurred
Can't take in your words
Can't believe what I've heard
Everything is changing
Your life is rearranging
But I'm being left behind
Doubt doesn't cross your mind
Because that's where I'm meant to be
Not someone who's supposed to see
But I was there when you were broken
To hear every word spoken
To hold you while you were sad
To be used when you were mad
But now I have to stay here
You've made your views on that very clear
I'm lost in your eyes
Just let me see you smile
Keep it in my memory forever
Remember when times get bad
In moments that I'm sad
She'll think you're smooth
But I know your every move
You'll sing a song
It'll catch her heart
I know that part
You'll use your talent
She won't see you're unbalanced
You'll be sweet, you'll be kind
She doesn't know what she'll find
I know that part
Because I wasn't that smart
I kept going
Kept throwing myself in
Shouldn't have let myself begin
Chapter
You were covering my eyes
Blinding me with your lies
Pulling away was a relief
Pulling away restored my belief
I can see the truth behind those looks
Now you don't get to be my whole book
You're only a chapter
Just one small factor
Turn the page and move on
Surviving you has made me strong
You'll keep covering your lies
But you won't be blinding me with those eyes
Blinding me with your lies
Pulling away was a relief
Pulling away restored my belief
I can see the truth behind those looks
Now you don't get to be my whole book
You're only a chapter
Just one small factor
Turn the page and move on
Surviving you has made me strong
You'll keep covering your lies
But you won't be blinding me with those eyes
Monday, March 21, 2011
Illusion
What I found in my false reality
In my lose of normality
In all my mind's confusion
Is that what I miss is an illusion
Because I love who you could be
Not the person infront of me
The person far too blind to see
So I'll take them memories and go
Take the memories and let myself finally grow
Because in all my mind's confusion
I managed to figure out everything you are is an illusion
In my lose of normality
In all my mind's confusion
Is that what I miss is an illusion
Because I love who you could be
Not the person infront of me
The person far too blind to see
So I'll take them memories and go
Take the memories and let myself finally grow
Because in all my mind's confusion
I managed to figure out everything you are is an illusion
Monday, March 14, 2011
Lust
We hide away in your bed
Leave behind the words that weren't said
The things we've ignored
Emotions we need to explore
We don't go deeper than physical touch
We don't go further than this lust
Because then we'd realize it's wrong
That this wrong has gone on so very long
But when you touch me I forget it all
In that moment there's no problems to solve
Until you stop touching me
Then the truth I get to see
That you'll just throw me aside
That what we do in your bed isn't hide
That what we do is all a lie
Leave behind the words that weren't said
The things we've ignored
Emotions we need to explore
We don't go deeper than physical touch
We don't go further than this lust
Because then we'd realize it's wrong
That this wrong has gone on so very long
But when you touch me I forget it all
In that moment there's no problems to solve
Until you stop touching me
Then the truth I get to see
That you'll just throw me aside
That what we do in your bed isn't hide
That what we do is all a lie
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
Function
I know your dark place
That look on your face
When the pain becomes too real
I know every emotion you feel
Because I stuck around
Kept my feet on the ground
Saw all your self destruction
Realized it's the way that you function
For I know your face
I'm with you in that dark place
That look on your face
When the pain becomes too real
I know every emotion you feel
Because I stuck around
Kept my feet on the ground
Saw all your self destruction
Realized it's the way that you function
For I know your face
I'm with you in that dark place
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